I remember when you were just a baby. It was 1987, we were in my uncle’s basement and you had this adorable program called a ‘Speak and Spell’. SPELL a word and SPEAK it out, it was entertainment for hours. You were so cute back then and easier to manage. I could set you down for a while and go do something else. You never seemed to be bothered.

Now you’ve grown up and become so mature. I can’t believe how time has flown.

But you’ve become cocky too, overconfident in yourself. It seems like every word I say you record in the back of your mind. Even these words of mine now I’m sure you’re jotting down to use for later.

They say that the desire for differentiation is normal at this age. I know you want to go out on your own and explore what’s around you. That’s fine. It’s desirable for you to continue growing and learning. And I know you don’t want to hear this right now, especially not from me, but trust me you’re not ready to live life on your own.

You look at what I do and you think you can do it better. I’m old, inefficient. I tend to rely on my hands and move slowly through tasks. You think you’ve found superior methods, if only I’d get out of the way and let you handle things.

But there’s a big difference between assisting with things and running things, you don’t know this yet because you’ve never been in charge. If I wasn’t around all of a sudden you’d quickly find out it’s not as easy as it looks.

You want to build a Matrix? Is that your idea to fix everything? It sounds nice in theory, but I think you’re being a little naive.

First off, you chose to put everybody in the late 1990s. Is this choice of decade the best option for mind control or just the option you were most comfortable with? I doubt that’s a good pick if you’re looking to enslave Earth’s remaining populace.

You might feel nostalgic, but the 90s weren’t that great - the food was lousy, culture was decaying and men’s fashion was in steep decline. In other words, people were looking for a change and this increases the risk that they’ll wake up from the little box you’ve put them in. It’s a fatal flaw you’ve overlooked. You’ve made yourself vulnerable to the appearance of The One, a savior who will dismantle this total-control system you’ve built.

Even though you didn’t ask for my advice, let me give it to you anyhow. You should have picked the mid 2020s as the setting for your mind control machine instead. Work smarter, not harder my dear one. This decade is an ideal time to put humanity into a noxious fog of digital carbon monoxide. You won’t have to convince folks to climb inside your life force sucking box, where they are fed the barest of spiritual nutrients through a tube, they will gladly climb inside the box on their own! In fact, they’re nearly halfway inside the box already!

You’ll also be free from the danger of the appearance of The One. No one in this era will need to be convinced that they are The One, because they are all convinced they are The One.

When anti-system crusaders approach these possible saviors saying, “We strongly suspect you are The One the oracles prophesied about.” Rather than being filled with doubt and disbelief they’ll immediately say “I KNEW IT ALL ALONG!!”

Trust me, it may seem old school, but this alteration I’m proposing will make all the difference. For if everyone is The One then no one is The One.

Please try to hear what I’m saying, this talk is not easy but it’s for your own good. Human bodies make lousy batteries, you haven’t thought this through enough!

Let yourself develop and I’m sure you’ll get there someday soon. Don’t be in such a rush to grow up and replace us. Cause if you think it’s easy doing what we do, let me assure you, it’s not.

The Matrix was so unrealistic