Of all the technological advancements humankind has achieved perhaps none is more historically pivotal than the creation of the chair. It came at a time when sitting on the floor was the perceived norm. Full grown adults and even those advanced in years would cross their legs or lay sideways, leaning on their elbow during times of so-called “leisure”. We can all look back on them now and vicariously feel a soreness in our hips, a popping in our knees and a pain in our backs. In hindsight, it is easy to see the error in their ways. Humankind was meant to sit in a chair.

It was a bold and eccentric young boy from the Chair Tribe who originally conceived the concept for a chair. In his heart he knew there had to be more to life than just standing everyday in exchange for a little “reclining” on the ground at the end of one’s day. He believed that humans could sit on objects like rocks and tree stumps. It logically followed then that the tree stump could be made portable and brought back to the Tribe’s abode. In fact, what really was the difference between a tree stump and another wooden object cut from the carcass of a dead tree? He would take these hunks of dead tree and carve them into something designed to fit the shape of a person’s body. A new innovation began to be formed. To honor his tribe, he named it The Chair.

Though you may struggle to believe this, chairs were quite controversial back in the day. Many members of the Chair Tribe were horrified by the boy’s invention and moved to banish him from the community. They found his creation disgusting, uncouth, and socially irresponsible. They said it was “unbecoming of a man” to have his legs at a 90 degree angle and his body leaned up against a backrest. Some reacted with mockery, many reacted in anger.

In fairness, The Chair did upend the entire economic system of the day. People were supposed to be standing while working, but if you could sit while you work… It sent shudders of shockwaves through society. Everyone was filled with fear and anxiety. (A silent few were filled with hope.) It was unthinkable, the idea that one could rest and work at the same time.

If you could rest while working, then everything was suddenly called into question. What was the point of it all? Why have we been standing this entire time?

Many found it to be completely immoral, they believed The Chair would tear the fabric of society apart. If they allowed a Chair today, who knows what worse thing may come tomorrow?

As word of The Chair spread, other tribes began to organize and form alliances of resistance. They organized the “Take a Stand” campaign (which is where the phrase originally comes from) to protest the awful Chair and all its adherents sat for. “Take a Stand!” they’d yell.

And all their people would roar in approval.

And yet, the culture had changed in the village of the Chair Tribe. People were beginning to see the benefits of the boy’s invention. No more creaky hips and painful social events hunched over a spread of food. People were sitting up straight and feeling great. A steady stream of well rested individuals began flowing out of Chair Village, spreading the good word of its transforming powers. In time, the entire village would be converted and it became normal to sit in a chair and weird to insist on standing up. It was hard to even imagine what life had been like before The Chair.

But the Take a Stand crowd, The Standers they called themselves, wouldn’t be cowed so easily. They saw the Chair People as flimsy, weak minded, and corrupt. This Chair thing was like a dangerous virus that would continue to spread unless snuffed out immediately. A war broke out between The Standers and the Chair People, in which many died. It was pointless, a needless tragedy and shedding of blood.

Ultimately, it was the Chair People who were able to prevail. Turns out having the opportunity to sit for a while and think was a huge strategic advantage in the war. The Standers had much energy and enthusiasm, and were quite accustomed to constantly running around. But their lack of peaceful pondering led them to expend their efforts fruitlessly. Ironically, it was their refusal to sit down that ultimately led the entire world to embrace The Chair.

Those who do not know history are doomed to repeat it. Lest we forget.