Love is Blind

Lusaka, Zambia

From 2019 to 2022 I lived in the central African country of Zambia. It was a warm Friday afternoon when I arrived in the capital Lusaka. I was working at a Chinese-owned hotel and lived on the grounds. The third day was Sunday, so I went out alone to find a local church. I just walked along a big road without knowing where I was heading, nor did I know where a church may be. To my surprise, I saw one right beside the road, with a sign out front that said something-something Pentecostal Church. It was just a middle size one-story house, very ordinary and poor. I went inside and found that a few men were there singing praise songs or praying. The worship service hadn’t started yet. More people would come and the service would start at 9:00 a.m., one of them told me as he welcome me in.

I was curious about the local people’s lives, so I told them I would come back for service later, then I left. I went to the village nearby the church, with tremendous excitement, wonder and a little bit nervousness. I saw a small school there. I saw some villagers. And when I saw a tree up on higher ground, I went up there and looked around. Then I heard a girl calling to me. So, I went down and talked with her. I stood in front of her and was so close to her I could even see her teeth clearly. She was wearing glasses and was as tall as me. She was not that kind of pretty girl at first glance, but as I talked with her, I quickly fell in love with her. Can you believe that?! In several minutes I fell in love with a girl whom I met for the first time! As I write here, I laugh at myself inside. It’s so true that ‘love is blind’.

Why did I fall for her so quickly? Well, she was so sincere, full of friendliness and, she showed enthusiasm for a stranger, a foreigner none the less! I just couldn’t resist.

Or maybe I was just really lonely, having been single for a long long time.

She asked me where I was from. I told her I was from China and was working in a nearby hotel. I asked her how old she was. I knew that it was rude to ask a girl her age, but…I just wanted to make sure our ages fit each other.

“24.” She replied.

“Oh yeah, it’s good.” I said to myself.

I asked her more questions and I found out that she had graduated from the University of Zambia and majored in accounting, but she was still living at home for the past three years. I was surprised and confused. University of Zambia is the top university in Zambia, if I was not mistaken; and in China, if a young person majors in accounting, he or she would find a wonderful high paying job. But if what the local media were saying was true, the that the unemployment rate was high, I guess I could understand.

But those things didn’t matter at all. What I cared about most was my future romance with her. I asked her whether she went to church and she said yes. I was glad to hear that.
“I am going to that church later. It starts at 9:00. Would you like to go with me?” I pointed at the Pentecostal church.

I was hoping she would say yes, but to my disappointment, she wouldn’t go. She told me that she went to church yesterday.
“Yesterday? “ I didn’t understand. “You went to church yesterday? I thought people always go to church on Sunday.” I said.
“No, I went to church yesterday. I go to a Seventh Day church.” She smiled.

I searched deep down in my brain to dig up some memory. I remembered hearing this term one time when I was in China, but I didn’t know much about it.

At that moment my heart sank. My romance bubble burst. I had to work from Monday to Saturday in the hotel, how could I get out to go to meet her and go to church with her? There was hardly any chance. I had sensed that there would be struggles if two people with different church backgrounds get married, but at that time I tried to persuade myself that it didn’t matter.

When it was time for me to go to that church for worship, I said goodbye to the girl.

After I went back to the hotel, I still couldn’t forget the girl. I told this to my local Zambian coworker James excitedly. I regretted not asking her for her line or cell number.

I prayed about it for a while and finally I laid these desires down.

A few months later, my boss needed some waitresses, so he hired some local girls. One of the girls was so gorgeous I would think she could win the prize for Miss Zambia. I liked her and she seemed nice to me. Once again, I imagined marrying her too. But for this or that reason, after praying, I didn’t have peace. I gave the idea up and finally I decided that one day I wanted to marry a Chinese girl.

And by God’s grace, in my last year in Zambia, I met a Christian girl (now my wife) through a Chinese Christian dating website and after one-year online dating, I came back to China and married her.

Three years ago, I went to Zambia desiring to marry a black girl and settle down in Africa, but I ended up marrying a Chinese girl and living in Beijing, China.

And I’m grateful for this detour by the hand of God.