Loud Speakers

Beijing, KTV in the Park

Chinese people talk loudly and everybody in the world knows this.

Chinese people love talking loudly. Chinese people love getting free stuff, having a  back door hookup, eating rice, drinking baijiu…and they love talking loudly.

I am not joking. I am telling you the truth. If you can hear me, you will hear me telling this truth loudl!

To be honest, I myself talk loudly. I am Chinese and I am not immune to this sweet and bitter disease.

If my wife and me were on a reality TV show, you would absolutely hear us talking loudly:

My wife (feeling upset): “If you’re just “explaining” it me than why are you talking so LOUDLY!!? You’re scaring me!!”

Me (feeling frustrated): “Don’t misunderstand me… please! I was only trying to explain... I’m not angry!! I don’t know why, I just get all worked up when I talk…”

Dear reader, you can’t imagine how much trouble Chinese people have brought to the Zambian people. If you went to Zambia, you would often see a scene such as this:

Max’s local coworker John (looking concerned and talking to Max quietly): Hey Max, what happened to you and Chief Wu? Were you arguing just now?
Me (looking concerned too and explaining loudly): Oh, no, no, no, John, we were just talking. Nothing, really nothing.

John (looking confused): Really? You guys were talking so loudly, I thought you were arguing.

Me: Ah, no, no, don’t worry, John. We were not arguing. We were just talking. We Chinese people just love talking loudly.

A few days ago, when I was at the hospital in Beijing, waiting in line for my medicine, I heard a man talking loudly in the phone among the people in the hall. Many people looked at him. And he was still talking loudly. Oh yes, it’s true that Chinese people love talking loudly.

In the past many years, Americans who came to China found that most Chinese people lived a boring life, for some reason or another. I guess, to some degree, talking loudly helps inject new life and enthusiasm into an otherwise mundane existence.

I know the origins of life on earth, but I don’t know the origins of Chinese people’s love for loudness. I guess it has something to do with a great invention: the loudspeaker.

I grew up in a village in central China and I have always been familiar with loudspeakers. I loved loudspeakers. Before China’s reform and opening up and not long after it, how did people deliver messages and spread the news?

Loudspeakers.

“Every villager, please pay attention. There’s going to be a meeting tomorrow afternoon, 9:00 o’ clock, on the playground of the village, every family must send a member to attend the meeting. Don’t be late. Over.”

Chinese people don’t just love talking loudly, they also they love singing loudly.

There are several nice parks that are not far from my house in Beijing. My wife and I often walk to one of those parks. No, we don’t go there for a date - for some ‘two-people in the world’ time. For if you want to go on a date, the parks in Beijing, and perhaps the parks everywhere in China, are a poor choice.

Here is a true story. One night, my wife and I walked to a park near our home. I love this park, because there was a river beside it. So, my wife and me sat down there and started chatting.

While we wanted to be silent, to enjoy some quiet time, to meditate on life while experiencing its seemingly endless mundane nature, we heard someone singing loudly from somewhere else. It was coming from the park on the other side of the river. Someone was singing KTV (Karaoke TV). We sighed, got up and left quickly.

I knew that it must be someone, born in the 1960s and 1970s, who was feeling nostalgic for their good old days through loudly singing.

There’s two kinds of people who love microphones: comedians and Chinese park-KTV lovers.

Yes, indeed, Chinese people love talking loudly and singing loudly. For it’s good and beneficial to mental health. It helps reduce pressure and increase enthusiasm for life.

When you sing, sing it loudly.

And enjoy it.