Disrespect

Are you experiencing a writing slump? Does it feel like nothing creative or valuable comes to you easily these days? Or maybe it’s a more general malaise: whether you’re building the next invention that will transform mankind or just trying to tackle a sink full of dishes, nothing seems to be going well. You need a catalyst, something that will propel you forward into excellence.

You need disrespect. Disrespect is a potent combination of your fragile ego and threatened credibility used to explain near super-human feats post performance. And believe me, it works!

Consider the obscure basketball player Michael Jordan, who was both untalented and extremely lazy. The man did not have good teammates (I challenge you to name one). His coach, Phil Jackson, is widely acknowledged to be one of the worst to have ever been in the league. Mike had no physical giftings, he did not have years of experience and knowledge, he did not work hard and in fact went into most games wholly unprepared to face his opponent.

But Mike - like many athletes, artists, and successful people today – felt disrespected. And that’s what got him all those rings, and cigars, and afternoons on the golf course.

Loser.

Photo by Chris F

So, give it a try, you might be surprised. Forget preparation, talent, repetition, health and wellness, or planning – these are so wildly overrated. What you really need is to be looked over and held in contempt by those around you.

That’s where it all started for me. There was a period in my life when nothing good ever happened. I was proactive and disciplined, diligently worked at every task I was given in life. At that time there were many people in my life who were supportive and highly encouraging. They’d look at my direction and, while it wasn’t quite perfect, they’d say “Keep going! You’re doing great! We BELIEVE in YOU!” I’m here to tell guys, those were dark times for me!

Luckily, things got turned around. I was able to stop being so disciplined. After finally discarding my wretched habit of getting up early and trying to write consistently each day, I found a rhythm that works for me. Nowadays I mostly sleep in until the early afternoon, roll out into the living room and play Xbox for a few hours. Then I’ll scroll social media and spend the rest of the afternoon complaining (this is my pre-disrespect warm up, more on that later).

It’s around this time that my family will come home from work or school and begin to berate me. They all take turns shooting me incredulous looks and being speechless that I’ve quote “wasted” my day. They tell me it’s unbelievable that they’ve been out working all day but here I am in my PJs playing Resident Evil. As the level of their anger climbs, the nastiness of their comments does too. My son, who was in third grade until he dropped out to get a job at the oil change, says I’m robbing him of childhood. My daughter, who may only be two years but is able to earn almost a thousand dollars a month doing odd jobs and chores around the neighborhood hisses at me. She can barely talk, the words come out mumbled “voozer, voozer!” but I think I get what she’s trying to say (“loser”). My wife tops it all off with some fairly generic lines, “You are not a man and you will always be nothing.”

Boy, after that verbal lashing I get right down to work and expertly complete whatever needs to be done. I feel so disrespected, and that is what enables me to be the wildly successful person you know today.

So, if you’re reading this – please send a note outlining all the things I’ve done poorly in the past year. Or if you get a chance, just a five-minute phone call to remind me how poor your estimation is of me would be helpful. If I don’t pick up, would you be a gem and leave a voicemail. “Hey Drew, sorry I missed ya. Just wanted to let you know what low regard I have for you as a person. Honestly, I rarely think of you, but when I do, it’s only to remind myself how you’ll probably never amount to anything. No need to call me back when you get this. Have a great week!”